So there's this baby coming...

It's sad, but most days I forget that I'm even pregnant and that this is really happening.  {It is really happening, right? Okay, good.  Because I'm kinda attached to the little bugger now.} There's just so much going on lately, that I have to remind myself that another little one is on the way.

Like, yesterday for example, when I was at my grandfather's funeral and so many people came up to congratulate us.  I almost wanted to respond "umm, what for?" {I mean, do these people not realize that we're at a funeral??}  Then I was all... oh yeah, we're the crazy people having our FOURTH kid! Awesome.

But it is awesome.

Anyway, I promised you an update, so let's do this...

It's long. #sorrynotsorry

Let's see... it all goes back to my dad's birthday weekend.  The Wednesday before {so May 22nd} I was so excited because my new bathing suit for our upcoming trip to Hawaii had just arrived at my house and I was excited to try it on {well, as excited as one can get trying on a bathing suit 8 months after having a baby.} I ran upstairs and put the sucker on and immediately looked down at my belly.

I looked pregnant.

Now, I'm not going to lie, I look kinda pregnant when I'm not pregnant anyway.  I mean, there were three monster babies in this belly, it's just something I have to deal with.  But, when I'm pregnant, my belly immediately starts protruding right above my belly button.  It's hard to explain, but it happens right away {apparently when sperm meets egg for this crazy lady.} And it was so there.

I did some mental calculations and I was all "nope, not pregnant." I knew my period was due any day so I just chalked it up to major bloat and called it a day.

The next day {May 23rd} I was at work and one of my coworkers started talking to me about my plans for the upcoming weekend.  {She knew it was my dad's birthday and was making sure I was okay, etc.}  I was joking around with her because I told her I was worried I was going to be overly emotional because my period was due any day and that always makes me feel so much worse. 

And, do you want to know what I said to her next? 

"But it could be worse... at least I'm not pregnant!"

Yep, I actually said that. And we laughed afterwards too.

May 24th was Brynn's birthday and we had so much fun celebrating our little girl.  At this point, I was already 1 day late, but I wasn't worried about it. 

Like, at all.

I woke up on May 25th, my dad's birthday, without my period again but I honestly thought that it was just late because of all of the emotions surrounding the day. {I lost my dad suddenly on December 4th, for those that are new.}  I was cramping like normal and had bloat like whoa, so I figured it was likely coming soon. I had so much other stuff to worry about that day so I just headed to my mom's to start the festivitites for my dad.

By Sunday morning, May 26th, at 4 days late, I really started to go "hmmm."  I was still crampy and bloated, so I figured it must be coming soon, but since I had another busy day {Aubrey's Baptism} I wanted to just rule it out.   I had some extra Wondfo's left over from when I was pregnant with Reid that expired in June, so I figured why not just use them.  I peed in a cup, dipped the stick in and continued with my business.  I watched as it went across the test and immediately just saw the control line.  "Okay, good" was exactly what I said.  I looked down for a split second and looked back up and there it was.  In my face.  A second line. Clear as day.

I was pregnant.

"Oh, shit."

That was my initial response.  I got another Wondfo test out of the bag and dipped it in the cup again.  A second line popped up right away.

I was shaking.  

At this point Bob was awake and about to start getting ready for the Baptism.  He was coming down the stairs from our bedroom and I looked at him and said "Umm, honey?" 

Ya know what he said?

"You're pregnant, aren't you?"

Yep.  The man knows his stuff.  He said "I've heard that voice five times already, I think I know when you're pregnant."

He was immediately happy.  I immediately cried.

He hugged me and, even as I was crying, I said "BUT I DON'T WANT TO CRY!"

I was just shocked.  I literally thought there was no possible way that I could even be pregnant.  But clearly, I was.  All the signs were there.  I just ignored them.  But it's kinda hard to ignore a glaring positive pregnancy test. Or two. {Or ten, even. Ahem.}

I sat on the bottom step in my living room, and as my 3 kids slept, I just stared blankly out the window. We had a plan. Our house is up for sale.  We wanted to build a new one.  We wanted to save money. 

WE HAVE AN 8 MONTH OLD BABY.

Those were the thoughts that ran through my mind, all at once. Meanwhile, I could kind of hear Bob talking to me in the kitchen. I heard all these logical things like "I'm happy!" and "It will all work out!" and "This is a good thing!"  Ya know... all things that are actual FACTS but at the time I just wasn't thinking clearly. 

I so desperately wanted to be happy.  I felt bad for my initial reaction, even while I was in the moment, but I just couldn't help it.

I quickly realized what time it was and knew that we had to start getting ready if we wanted to be on time for Aubrey's Baptism.  Bob and I didn't speak another word of it the entire time we were with my family.  Honestly, most of the day I even forgot about it... ya know, except when I was offered wine and couldn't drink it.  Oh, and there was this one time when my sister Kacy was telling a story about her friend that was pregnant again after just delivering with us in September.  She even said "OMG, can you imagine??" with her evil laugh.  I jokingly said "yeah, what an idiot!" all the while knowing that I was joining her.

On the way home from the Baptism I figured I should stop at the store and buy a "real" test just in case.  I mean, I know Wondfo's are reliable, but you can buy like 100 of them for $2 on Amazon so I figured I needed something a little more... trusting.  And also maybe a digital.  Because when there word "Pregnant" pops up, there's really no denying it.

So, at 5pm on May 26th, this is what we saw...

This was happening.

I put in my dates and realized I was due January 30, 2014.

A winter baby.  What the hell do I do with a winter baby?

I went to bed feeling a little better than I had in the morning.  As I laid there in bed, I actually thought back to my second round of tests and I remembered smiling when the word "Pregnant" popped up.

I smiled.

I was coming to my senses, people.

The shock was wearing off and I was actually thinking straight.  I closed my eyes, thankful that the next day was Memorial Day and that we had nothing at all planned. 

On Monday, I woke up happy.  Excited.  I actually started telling a few people.  Mostly close friends that I knew would understand.  Friends that have had surprise pregnancies or that have kids close in age {Reid and this baby will be 16 months apart.}  When I heard that my reaction was completely normal, I started feeling a little more relaxed. 

I did still feel bad for crying though.

By Monday night, I decided to tell my sisters.  I called Kacy first.  Aubrey wasn't exactly planned, so I knew she would completely understand where I was coming from.  I started talking to her about the Baptism the day before and while she was telling me a story, I decided to text her a picture of the pregnancy test.  When she stopped mid-sentence, I knew she had received it.

"SHUT UP!!"

She was happy.  Excited.  Right from the start.  Just like Bob. {Why couldn't I have reacted like that??} Then she remembered the story she told me about her friend being pregnant again already and apologized.  I really didn't care. It was fine.  I was just glad she knew because it immediately put my mind at ease.

This was a good thing.

When I finished talking to Kacy, I tried calling my sister, Kristi, but she didn't pick up.  I knew she had a BBQ to attend, so I just figured I'd call her back the next day. And guess what? She was happy too. My mom.  Bob's family.  Everyone was happy.

This is a good thing, Jenn... catch up!

I knew in my heart that this was amazing news, but my mind was still all... THE PLAN. THE PLAN.

But ya know what? Plans change.

So, maybe we couldn't build a new house any more... so what.  NBD. I'm sure we could find something just as wonderful that was already built. And maybe we couldn't save as much money as we had hoped.  Oh well. What we save will have to be enough. And maybe, just maybe, we did have more pressure on us to sell our house faster.  Ya know what? It will work out.

Everything will work out.

In the last 6 weeks, I've been nothing but excited for this little baby to come and complete our family. It may have taken a few days for my brain to catch up to my heart, but it did.  It finally did. 

I am so in love with our little IV.

And finally, to answer the first question I receive once people find out I'm pregnant again...

YES, WE ARE FINDING OUT! 

I think this was surprise enough for us.  And also? I just like knowing better.

Next up? Belly pics.  Soon.  Promise.