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I go back to work next week! Ahhhh. How did this happen!?! Baby girl is 9 weeks old {today!} so I do feel lucky that I will have had 10 weeks at home with her before I go back. I also have a nice transition back into the office over the next month, which I'm very grateful for as well!
But, I have to admit... I'm having serious mixed feelings about it.
On one hand, I am super excited to get back to work. {Call me crazy!} I just miss being in my work environment, having daily adult interaction and actually getting a designated lunch break where I'll be able to eat. With 2 hands! {It's the little things.}
On the other hand, I know I will miss my baby girl like whoa. And my 3 other babies too, obviously. But especially Emerson. We've been attached at the hip {or she's been attached to my boob, rather} for 10 weeks straight... it will be a difficult adjustment to leave her for 8 hours a day while I'm at work. But we'll get through it... I have 3 times before this, right?
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Speaking of going back to work... I've been having serious anxiety, to the point of having nightmares about it. And not for any of the reasons mentioned above. Here's the thing...
My very first day back in the office after my maternity leave with Reid? My dad died.
The. very. first. day.
Imagine being overwhelmed with the thought of leaving your new baby for the first time as you head back to work. Running a little late, as you transition to your new morning routine. Sitting down at the computer to hundreds of new emails. Your desk flooded with all the changes made in the short time that you've been gone. You haven't yet said hello to all of your fellow coworkers, because you've been inundated with work. And just as you get a moment to breathe after a few overwhelming hours trying to get re-accustomed to your work environment, you get that fateful call that will change your life forever.
I never realized, until recently as I prepare to head back to work again, just how much it has impacted me. The timing of it all. Being with Reid for 12 weeks straight and then, leaving for work that day, and not seeing him for more than an hour in the week that followed. Makes me cry just thinking about how difficult that time was for everyone. It's hard enough losing a parent, but to have it happen just 2 hours into your very first day back from maternity leave when you're already an emotional mess, made it all that more difficult. {And let's not add to it, the fact that I came home late that night to a dog that could no longer walk and that we were told to put to sleep THAT SAME DAY.}
It was obviously the hardest day of my life.
So, as I prepare to go back to work next week, I can't help but have severe anxiety about it. Almost like... "what terrible thing is going to happen when I return to work this time?"
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Let's shift gears, shall we?
Carter is playing baseball! Well, tee-ball, but still. He's so excited about it {and so am I!} Opening Day is this Saturday and I'm praying for nice weather. The poor kid has only had 1 practice so far because the other 4 have been cancelled due to rain and SNOW. {Ugh!} Would it be too much to ask to have spring-like weather in spring?? Anyway, here's my little cutie just before his first {and only, grrr} practice:
Love him! I must also add that he is doing amazing in school. I was so worried about how he was going to do with being so young {he has a July birthday!} and I was even more worried about how he would act in school, but I'm happy to report that he is doing SO WELL!! We are so proud of him! Go Carter Man!
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With April approaching, I am in the midst of planning Brynn's 4th {WTH!?!?!} birthday party. Her birthday is on a Saturday this year {May 24th}, so that makes things easier. Of course, that's Memorial Day weekend too, but whatever. It is what it is. Anyway, baby girl wants to have it at Build-A-Bear again, so that's what we'll do. And, like every other child on the planet, it MUST be Frozen themed. Because, what else is there right now!?! Exactly. {And a Frozen/snowflake theme on Memorial Day weekend makes so much sense. Obviously.}
I did design her Frozen birthday invitation a few days ago, and I'm still tweaking it to perfection, so I'll be sure to post it as soon as it's ready! I will say that it's one of my favorite invitations that I've designed so far though... EEEKKK!
Here's a recent pic of Brynn and I on our little girls day out...
We only went to Target and Chicl-Fil-A, but hey! It was fun! It was so nice to just have some time with my first baby girl. :)
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Reid Joesph turned 18 months on March 10th. He is doing amazing... he's smart as a whip but equally as evil. He is into everything, let me tell ya. There's a reason he's so cute, ha! We have his 18 month well visit on the same day as Emerson's 2 month visit, so I'll include his stats in that post as well. Here's a pic of my sweet boy along with his cousin, BFF and birthday twin, Aubrey, last weekend at their cousin Ben's 7th {ahh!!} birthday party...
OMG, they're the best, aren't they!?!
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Emerson just turned 2 months old on March 27th. Can you believe it!?! I have a whole post planned for later this week, but here's my little sweet pea on her second monthaversary...
Still with the hair. I LOVE IT. She's the sweetest!
She has her 2 month well visit on Thursday with Reid, so I'll have stats and everything for you then! But let me just say that she is a great baby. She's been sleeping through the night for several weeks now, has been an awesome nurser {with no signs of reflux, woo hoo!} and is very go-with-the-flow {poor thing doesn't have a choice, but still.} She just adores her brothers and sister too. She's all smiles when they're around! :) I'll have more on Emmie Mae later this week...
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In other news, Bob and I are still alive after two months with 4 kids, so that's saying something, right??
More later. Promise.
6 comments:
I have been reading your blog since you were pregnant with Reid, and I have loved following your family's journey. Your kids are so adorable, and your down-to-earth blogging style is so encouraging. I must say, I nearly cheered out loud when I saw that you had a new post up! You are a supermom!
Those little baby toes! I just want to kiss them!! :)
So glad to see you back - I love reading your blog between the cute kids and down-to-earth, keeping it real posts. I barely have time to blog with two kids, so I don't know how you keep up with four! I'd be buying stock in wine... Oh wait, I already do! Good luck with your transition back to work!
Thank you for posting Jenni. I can't imagine going back to work so soon but you and your positive attitude will make it work I know (we get a year here in Canada. I'm also sure nothing bad will happen. You have such a beautiful family and I love keeping up with you here and on IG. Thank you for sharing.
I have only been reading for a few months, but during your hiatus I was able to read your past blog posts, so now Im all caught up. Love your style and the way your word things. Keep up the good work, so glad you were able to post!!
Ever coming back? :(
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