We can't catch a break.

On the day my dad died, we came home to find our 6-year-old German Shepherd lying on the floor, unable to walk.  We rushed him to the animal hospital, where the vet said he was paralyzed and we'd have to put him down.

Unable to make such a decision on the same day that I lost my dad, we asked the hospital to keep him over night so that we could research our options. I refused to lose my dog too... my heart could only take so much.

The next morning, we got a wonderful phone call from the doctor saying that Kai was attempting to walk around with the nurses with the support of a brace.  That certainly gave us hope that maybe he'd pull through this.  The hospital kept Kai for 2 days and continued to give him meds and IV fluids.  On the night before my dad's funeral, we brought him home with the hope that things would get better soon.

They didn't.

Over the last week, we've taken Kai to see 3 different doctors, and they've all said the same thing.  Kai would never walk again.  They think he had a form of muscular dystrophy where his muscles were deteriorating at a rapid pace, which then caused weakness in his legs and then severe spinal cord damage.

On Friday night, he completely lost the ability to control his bowels and that's when we knew what we had to do.

Yesterday morning, we put Kai to sleep.  It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, especially at such an already unimaginable time in our lives. At first I felt like such a terrible person, doing that to him.  Making that horrible decision.  But I now realize that we put Kai first.  We were selfless. He was in so much pain and he didn't deserve to live like that.  It wasn't the life he would have wanted.

We are suffering now so that he no longer has too.

I know that Kai is happy again... running freely and catching tennis balls with his Poppy. They are taking care of each other.

We're trying to stay strong for the kids now.  Today is a new day.  There are 8 days until Christmas and we want to give the kids the kind of Christmas that they deserve.  After all, they've been through a lot in the last 2 weeks as well.

Today, I'm mailing my Christmas cards.

Yep, I'm doing it.

Because even at this difficult time in our lives, I'm still able to find joy, if even for a brief moment.

And I know that I still have so much to be thankful for this Christmas.

The Storm

As I mentioned before, I work in Philly, but commute from South Jersey every day with my sister. As I walked the 4 blocks to our parking lot yesterday afternoon, there was a light drizzle- nothing bad at all. While driving the 40 minutes home, the sun came out and it got really humid. Then something really weird and unexpected happened...

We pulled into our town and came up to a road closure when we were 1 mile from our house. As we turned the corner to find another way home, we were shocked at what we saw. Trees down everywhere, debris all over the streets, flooding, houses with trees on top of them... we honestly thought that the only thing that could explain all of this was a tornado or something! It was really bad! The weather is usually identical in Philly and our town- just 25 miles away- which is why we couldn't believe it. Philly only had sprinkles!

When we finally got into our development, I pulled into our driveway and saw that, luckily, everything was okay...on the outside. We just had tree branches and leaves all over our entire yard and street {it actually looked like it snowed leaves!} As I walked into our house I found a very scared puppy {poor Kai!} and our windows wide open. Our kitchen was completely flooded, our upstairs office had water everywhere {including on my camera and the computer!} and the family room carpet was completely soaked in 3 spots. Great.

After hearing the news helicopters flying over our house, I turned the news on just in time to see the following stories:
1) The road that we take to get home was closed because a tree fell on top of a moving car and split it in half! Thankfully, the person driving was okay!!
2) The roof of an entire warehouse building blew clear off and into the neighborhood behind it.

There were reports of tornado sitings from people in my town {they mentioned it on both the news and the police/fire radios- my BIL is a fire chief} but nothing was confirmed. They only said that it was hurricane force winds that caused the damage. Below are a few pics from the Philly news website about the storm. All from my town...

I know this is nothing compared to those of you that live in devastating storm prone areas, but it was really scary here! We {thankfully!!!} never get any tornado's, hurricane's, or earth quakes {knock on wood!}

They are calling for a similar version of the storm to come through the area again this afternoon. I just hope that I come home today to find my house in one piece...

Carter & Kai

These pictures were too funny and cute not to post. I took them last night and I can only imagine what they were thinking...

C: She has the camera out again, doesn't she?
K: Sigh

C: Don't even try to make us smile.
K: We won't do it.

C: ::: dirty look:::
K: If I do something cute, maybe she'll go away. Kiss kiss!

C: Noooooo!! Don't turn on me. Stay on my side!
K: Trust me, it works.

C: Great now I have a wet ear!
K: Gotcha!

C&K: If you ignore her, she'll go away.

Nice.

Y3W

That's right folks... today is my first baby's THIRD birthday!!!! And, yes, that's Carter singing to him. Hehe.

I can't believe Kai is 3. He went from an adorable fluffalupagus {yes, it's a word.. we made it up} of a puppy to a huge adorable monster so fast! I got Kai as a birthday present from Bob, my sisters, and my parents in the summer of 2006. I was shocked and, of course, so unbelievably happy and excited!! This is Kai the first night they brought him home to me. He was 8 weeks old.

I could tell that night that he would be trouble. I don't know why I always have the crack babies.. but I love them to death! Here are a few other pics of my baby...

I think my heart melted a little with this one...
His ears are starting to stand!

Silly dog (and boy do I look young!)

So handsome.


Dad's home!

Now this picture was taken the day before our wedding. I was packing for our honeymoon while Kai helped. I left it on my digital camera so that Bob and I could look at it every time we missed him while we were away. We looked at it a lot. :)

Kai's first Christmas!

Kai with his cousin and BFF, Jake

Probably my favorite picture of our monster. He's so beautiful.

Kai thinks he owns the guest room and that the bed in there is, in fact, HIS.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAI KAI!!!!

Wordless Wednesday

*Carter and Kai are in the back seat of Bob's Tundra. Carter is rear-facing ;)

And the winner is....

...BRUNETTE! Yep, I stuck with it.

Kai got me mid-lick.

Thanks for voting!